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Obviously some don't and just really like your Americanly overweight physique.

So basically, do some homework before applying for that fiancé visa.

The dirty: The Philippines is, as described to us by a native Filipino, “basically an entire country of naughty Catholic schoolgirls”.

Which, if you attended Catholic school or saw that one sketch in The lowdown: There are basically two kinds of Russian mail-order brides: The traditional one who wants to stay home, cook, clean, and raise the kids, and the newer, urban variety, who pretty much want to move to America, live like Kanye, and lists “shopping” as her main occupation (because it's true).

So if your girl's from Beijing, you’re getting a New Yorker.